Robert Byrd Barbaric

Ah, Robert Byrd, everyone’s favorite Democrat.

Bob’s a good fellow, the kind who enjoys fiddling and protecting the American flag. He’s been in the Senate since 1959. And he loves dogs. Seriously. The West Virginia senator, still puttering along at 90, goes wild for those furry creatures.

So when Congress, for unknown reasons, decided to discuss Mike Vick’s dog fighting case, Byrd was right there to voice his opinion. And his position was clear: Dog fighting is barbaric. Barbaric. Barbaric. Barbaric.

No, seriously – he says it four times. Four. Four. Four. With long pauses and frantic hand gestures in between. Then he continues.

‘Barbaric! Let that word resound,’ he shouts, ‘from hill to hill, from mountain to mountain, from valley to valley, across this broad land. Barbaric. Barbaric.’

Apparently, Bob Byrd is against dog fighting. Take that, Clinton Portis!

-Andy McCullough, feature editor

Published on November 29, 2007 at 12:00 pm